“Empenyi Josefina! Va… que ja quasi estem!”. “Vinga Maria, empeny estimada, empeny. Només un últim esforç!”
Ja era casualitat que coincidissin dos parts alhora però la situació encara s’embolicava més quan un dels dos naixements era el de la seva pròpia filla. El Doctor Bertran no s’ho podia creure quan la Maria va obrir la porta i li va dir: “Ja ve. No puc aguantar més, Josep” mentre la Josefina de Can Cinto cridava de dolor des de la llitera de la consulta per unes contraccions que ja feia hores que no paraven.
En uns minuts que van semblar hores va fer instal·lar la Maria a l’estança del costat. Ella volia parir al seu llit. Ho tenien tot pensat però no havien previst que la Josefina trenqués aigües abans d’hora i es posessin totes dues a parir simultàniament com si fos una cursa.
“Esto es la luna llena, Doctor”, repetia l’Avelina mentre feia d’infermera improvisada. El Doctor Bertran no havia portat al món moltes criatures però sabia què havia de fer. El primer de tot, no posar-se nerviós.
“Un nen! És un nen!”. “Una nena! és una nena!” – Va cridar el Doctor Bertran aquestes dues frases amb uns instants de diferència.
Elisa. La seva filla es diria Elisa, com la seva àvia. No esperaven tenir una tercera criatura. La Rosa Maria ja tenia catorze anys i en Josep Maria, onze. Ho tenien tot encarrilat però va passar, i tant ell com la Maria s’ho van prendre com un regal de la vida.
Les alegries d’una habitació contrastaven amb el silenci de l’altra. La Josefina va plorar d’emoció en sentir que era un nen. Era el que ella i en Ramon volien. El primogènit, l’hereu, el futur… El Doctor Bertran, però, de seguida va veure que hi havia alguna cosa que no anava bé. Aquells ulls, que ploraven i ploraven com qualsevol nounat, tenien la mirada d’un nen inconclús. Li semblava terrible aquella forma d’anomenar una malaltia de naixement que arrossegaria la resta de la vida.
“Subnormal?” Va dir en Ramon amb llàgrimes als ulls. Aquella paraula encara li semblava pitjor. El Doctor Bertran va pensar que la medicina tenia un repte en el futur més enllà de trobar cures per a les malalties, buscar noms respectuosos per als diagnòstics. Què volia dir «subnormal»? Per sota del «normal»? I què volia dir ser «normal»?
Va visitar la Josefina, en Ramon i el petit Joanet uns dies després. Ella tenia els ulls inflats i unes ulleres molt marcades fruit de dormir poc i plorar molt. El nen estava bé. No havia tingut problemes amb l’alletament, dormia les seves hores i quan estava despert només rondinava quan tenia gana o bé necessitava que el netegessin.
El Doctor Bertran va veure de seguida que la Josefina necessitava parlar però que no acabava de trobar la manera com començar. Així que va allargar tant com va poder les exploracions mentre li anava fent preguntes. Finalment, entre llàgrimes i sanglots, li va confessar que no gosava abraçar el seu fill. Que se l’estimava, que sentia un amor infinit però que quan el mirava als ulls sentia una punxada per dins que la destrossava. Li va explicar que en Ramon encara estava pitjor. Des que havien tornat a casa que gairebé ni el veia. Es passava tot el dia al tros. A la nit, a l’hora de sopar, no deia res, no parlava. Estava com enfadat. La Josefina li havia preguntat repetidament què li passava tot i que ja sabia la resposta. Aquell mateix matí, abans que marxés, finalment havien tingut una breu conversa. En Ramon no volia en Joanet. Estaven condemnats. Com s’ho farien? Aquella criatura només podia portar problemes a una vida que ja era prou difícil. Tenir un fill havia de ser un somni i de sobte s’havia convertit en un malson.
El Doctor Bertran va abraçar ben fort la Josefina i li va dir que tot i que el seu fill tenia una malaltia també tenia sentiments, com ella, com en Ramon. Potser se sorprendria si li donava una oportunitat. No lluitar sí que seria una condemna, però per al Joanet. Els nens inconclusos o bé acabaven en hospicis on se’ls tractava com a animals o bé es feien grans amagats a casa com si aquella malaltia fos una vergonya, una deshonra per a la família. No era fàcil, però estava convençut que la millor recepta era molta voluntat i molt d’amor, a parts iguals, ben barrejats. Va agafar el petit i el va posar als braços de la Josefina. «Escolta com respira. Necessita sentir el batec del cor de la seva mare, la teva escalfor. Necessita que li transmetis que l’estimes i aquí no valen les paraules perquè no t’entén. Ni ell ni qualsevol altre nadó que se’l pugui considerar «normal». Josefina, mira els seus ulls i compta fins a deu. Només et demano això». No havia arribat a set que ja l’estava abraçant i demanant-li perdó entre llàgrimes.
En Ramon seria una mica més complicat. Es va apropar al tros però no va parar de llaurar mentre el Doctor Bertran intentava parlar amb ell. Com que no tenia cap intenció d’escoltar-lo, li va acabar dient que havia estat buscant informació sobre la malaltia del seu fill i que hi havia algunes esperances. Que si el volia escoltar, que passés per la consulta i que li ho explicaria.
No estava gens acostumat a mentir. Normalment s’atabalava, s’entrebancava amb les paraules i es posava molt vermell però aquella vegada li havia sortit com si res.
En arribar a casa, va anar directe a veure la Maria i la petita Elisa. Estaven precioses. L’Avelina anava amunt i avall amb les coses de la casa. La Rosa Maria i en Josep Maria encara no havien tornat de l’escola. Després d’arreplegar un tros de pa amb formatge de la cuina per dinar de pressa, es va asseure un moment en una de les cadires de la sala d’espera. En cinc minuts arribaria el primer pacient. Li encantava aquell moment, aquell silenci, aquell instant de calma que es respirava just abans d’una nova tarda de bogeria a la consulta. Estava esgotat però se sentia feliç. Els temps difícils potser ja no ho eren tant o potser s’hi havia acostumat però en aquell moment desitjava profundament que no canviés res a la seva vida. Sempre hi hauria coses a millorar, però se sentia tan afortunat…
“Vigila amb en Ramon. El veig capaç de fer una bogeria, Doctor!”. Va dir-li aquell coi de fantasma que se li apareixia de tant en tant des de feia uns anys. Ja no s’espantava, al contrari, sabia que quan l’Enric Martí es deixava veure era per alguna raó important.
De sobte va entrar en Ramon a la sala d’espera. L’Avelina anava darrere seu dient-li, molt enfadada, que la consulta encara estava tancada i que havia de demanar hora si es volia visitar. El Doctor Bertran el va convidar a passar i en Ramon es va asseure a la cadira del seu costat. L’Enric Martí es va aixecar d’un bot abans que el cul d’aquell homenot se li posés a sobre. Encara que no pogués aixafar la seva figura evanescent era un esperit orgullós i no suportava escenes com aquella. Que no el poguessin ni veure ni sentir no volia dir que hagués de permetre que se li asseguessin a sobre.
“I bé, Doctor? Expliqui’m què s’hi pot fer, sisplau”. No s’esperava una pregunta tant directa. Ni tant sols havia tingut temps de preparar-se una resposta convincent.
“Tot o res. Vosaltres trieu. Aquesta malaltia no impedeix que pugui aprendre a riure, a estimar… A ser feliç si ho feu tot perquè n’aprengui. Si no feu res, llavors segur que no n’aprendrà. Potser us sorpreneu! Vine amb mi, sisplau”.
Van entrar a la consulta. Els llibres i les revistes s’amuntegaven en piles per tot arreu , per sobre de la taula, per la prestatgeria, per terra… Va fer com que buscava.
“On deu ser? On la vaig deixar? Si la vaig estar fullejant l’altre dia. Era una revista on es parlava de casos com el d’en Joanet. Era una publicació estrangera. De tant en tant la rebo i és on es parla de les últimes investigacions. Aquí! Menys mal. Creia que l’Avelina me l’hauria llançat ja. De vegades la Maria s’emprenya i l’envia a netejar-me el despatx. Mira Ramon, mira. Llegeix”. El cor li anava a cent. “No sé llegir. Ho sento”. Just la resposta que necessitava. La seva aposta havia sortit bé. En aquella publicació mèdica no es parlava de nens inconclusos però el Doctor Bertran es va posar a improvisar fent com si estigués traduint.
“Mira. Aquí t’explica que als Estats Units estan fent proves molt innovadores. Han deixat de buscar una cura, una medicina, i aposten per treballar en l’educació amb aquests nens des de ben petits. Si se’ls dedica prou atenció, poden aprendre a fer un munt de coses, des d’ajudar-te a treballar al camp fins a llegir i escriure”. Tenia la sensació que li estava venent alguna cosa, però va veure clar que havia fet diana en el punt més sensible.
“… i sobretot, de cara a en Joanet, busqueu amb la Josefina una altra forma d’anomenar la malaltia, ni inconclús ni subnormal ni res de tot això. Ell també tindrà sentiments. Està malalt, no cal amagar-se’n, però tampoc cal fer-lo sentir inferior. Segur que no l’ajuda”.
Va deixar passar uns dies. Sabia que després de tant silenci entre la Josefina i en Ramon ara havien de parlar moltíssim. L’Enric Martí no havia tornat a aparèixer, de manera, que s’ho va prendre com un bon senyal.
Justament durant aquells dies la família Bertran Soler havien rebut la visita d’en Lluís Sentís. Havia vingut des de Barcelona amb el seu cotxàs per portar-los un regal per a la petita Elisa. Un cotxet per passejar nadons. En Josep estava enormement agraït amb en Lluís. Havien forjat una amistat profunda en els anys de la universitat malgrat que aquella maleïda guerra els hagués deixat en bàndols oposats. Sort en va tenir de la família Sentís que, gràcies a la seva influència, no va estar massa temps a la presó. La nova dictadura havia estat implacable amb els exsoldats republicans però va poder demostrar que la seva presència al front havia estat per fer de metge tot i portar l’uniforme.
Aquella mateixa nit, en silenci, el Doctor Bertran va deixar a la porta de Can Cinto el vell cotxet que havien fet servir amb la Rosa Maria i en Josep Maria i que estava també destinat a l’Elisa. Amb el regal d’en Lluís Sentís ja no el necessitaven.
L’endemà, en sortir de la missa del diumenge, es van trobar les dues famílies. En Joanet, estirat en el seu cotxet, es mirava amb els ulls ben atents el món que hi havia allà a fora. A la Josefina i al Ramon els havia canviat la cara.
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